Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Call me Crazy - [Politics #9]

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.

OBAMA.

I'm watching his State of the Union Address right now. Live. Right now. I'm watching President Obama's second State of the Union, and damnit, my 9 readers, I'm scared.
I'm horrified.
I'm terrified of the future.

This change, the difference, this referendum, is horrifying. Have you seen V for Vendetta? I hope so, because I'm about to reference it. This man is Adam Sutler. He comes to Britian. He joins the government in full force, saying "I'll fix all of your problems if you give me your absolute concent." In a year in Britian, he has full force of the country. He is followed blindly, and lying to his citizens.
What is Obama doing?

He enters the Oval Office in 2009, claiming change. He changes, he tries to change, he does all he can to "make America amazing again. To put both parties connected at the hip and make the government more uniform. "Despite their changes, they must work together as one," he says. Sounds nice, doesn't it? It sounds great, that he wants to make it all work together, to fix America!
Lemme tell you how he's fixing America.

By August he's taking out all of the American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. Every last one. He's going to initiate a government "spending freeze" in 2011 to solve the budgeting problems. He's cutting HOMELAND SECURITY'S BUDGET.

HOMELAND FUCKING SECURITY!
Not MONTHS after he's taking the troops out of Iraq! Oh, and his nuclear warheads?
He's shutting them all down. Well, 1'000-some, at least.

Maybe I forgot to mention.

Why is he shutting down the very essence of why America kicks ass? Why would he shut down and disable those very bombs that ended wars previously? To increase realtions with Russia (the country that I can see from my back yard!) and to just make America look like the nice guy.

NO.
NO NO NO!
You DON'T make a government cut it's spending on clandestine organizations that keep America safe as a country like Homeland Security, only months after it takes troops out of the country it's at War with, THE SAME TIME IT REMOVES IT'S NUCLEAR WARHEADS.

We're screwed.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

It's Not Fair - Life [#8]

I'm gonna be bitching, so if you don't want to read it, stop right here.

It's not fair. Life. It's not fair.
No, I'm not saying this because my parents aren't letting me out or some shit. No, I'm not saying this because I don't have enough money for something. And no, I'm definitely not saying this because I got dumped or something.

I'm saying this because it's not fair that some people will never know any form of emotional pain, while others are dealing with the worst situation in their lives.
It's not fucking fair that some people can live their entire lives without a single fucking pain, because their parents bought their way through it, or maybe they have a perfect set of friends that never have any problems whatsoever. It's not fucking fair that at the same time, some people can be diagnosed with cancer. Some people can lose their family. Some people might lose their house, their job, their way of life.
Some people are heroes and they don't even know it, and yet they are walked all over the people who never had a problem in their life before.

I'm saying they are the superheroes of our time because those people who lose someonthing, who feeel the pain I'm talking about, have the ability to smile every fucking day of their lives because they know that maybe, it'll go for the better. That maybe the world isn't so dark, so bleak, to unjust. That maybe, just maybe, things will turn out for the better.
And, damnit, what does fate do?
Hammer them down, again and again, to the fucking brink. Almost like it enjoys watching those people put on a smile like a mask and walk around the day acting as if they have no problems in their life.

I have more respect for the people that overcome everything than the people who have done nothing. I respect the types of people who can have their life thrown across the room, destroyed and dug underground and can somehow, some way find a reason to smile in the day.

I respect people who overcome things, not the people who pass by things.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Let's Start the New Year with Terrorism! - Politics [#7]

So, I can finally say I 100% feel safe as a citizen of Canada. (well, North America, let's say)
Why, you ask? Oh, I'll tell you why.
NOT because the American Federal Bureau of Investigation totally dropped the ball. NOT because America refused to listen to an obvious warning. And deffinitely NOT because America seems to be too ignorant to connect the dots from one shining lightbulb of a fact to another.
But instead because, well...
Terrorists suck.

Maybe I forgot to mention, but have any one of you tuned into the news on Christmas day?
Well, okay, I didn't either, but at least on Boxing Day? The little town across the pond from Windsor, Detroit Michigan was targeted for a terrorist attack.
Detroit, Michigan! Like, THE, Detroit Michigan! And before I tell you how much, how hard, and how painfully the FBI failed this, lemme tell you how much, how hard and how painfully the terrorist failed this time.

Right, so he's on a plane to Detroit from Amsterdam. While they're landing into Detroit, he begins to start to, well, blow himself up using an incendiary explosive (which is a type of explosive that doesn't neccesarily explode, it bursts into flames [kinda like napalm]). While he was doing this however, a few of the flight's passengers stopped him by essentially beating the shit out of him.
Welcome to Detroit!
What's even MORE laughable than the fact he got his ass kicked by a few Christmas Day passengers, is that he fessed up... everything! In the five hours he was in interrogation for, he spewed everything. Lemme type that again.
Five. Hours.
That's not enough time for the FBI to "legally" get a warrant for more extreme methods for interrogation (such as waterboarding, sleep deprivation). That's just them, getting Mr. Smith and Mr. Joe to question the guy in a dark room, with a light, a table and a couple of chairs. Maybe they threatened him (unlikely), maybe they did torture him somehow (more unlikely), or maybe he was just a novice, undertrained terrorist.
DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WIN-AR!
Yes, that's it! He was a shitty terrorist, with shitty training and even shittier bomb-building skills. That's all there is to it, folks. Our enemy is getting worse, and desperate, and this is the first sign of a victory. They're sending terrorist that aren't really terrorists. They're sending kids to blow themselves up, only to have them burn themselves with 2nd degree burns and cause a plane to take longer than usual.

Now, let's go over the FBI incompetancies, shall we?
1) He bought a first-class, one way ticket in cash to Detroit from Yemen. I can't cross the damn street without being asked for my student ID, reason for crossing the street, and why I started with my left foot first, let alone buy first class tickets.

2) Oh, by the way - his father called the Yemen BI and FBI to say that his son was in bad mental state. Please, take a moment to read that again. Yes. His father reportidly called dozens of times, with valid evidence of his son's decreasing mental capacity, and the fact he was part of that little small terrorist group called Al-Quida.

3) Lastly, he was on a watch-list amongst 50'000 other people of known possible terrorists. He was on a watch-list amongst 50'000 other people of known possible terrorists. He was on a watch-list amongst 50'000 other people of known possible terrorists. I said it 3 times because it needed to be typed 3 times. That. Is. Ridiculous.

So let's recap. Mr. Shitty Terrorist bought a one-way, first class ticket with cash, from Yemen to Amsterdam to Detroit, his father called saying he was a possible insane terrorist, he was on a watch-list of 50'000 other possible individuals, and there was proof of him being part of Al-Quida... and no one did a thing.

Last thing I want to ask is this:
Why the Hell did Al-Quida actually own up and say it was them? Okay, sure, if it was a major terrorist attack and they wanted to flex their suicidal muscles, then sure, own up. But really, they owned up to probably the biggest laughing-stock of a suicide bombing ever.
Essentially, they said "Oh, hey. Yeah guys, that's OUR shitty suicide bomber. Thanks for asking!"

This is going to be a long, painful, retarded war, and I have the feeling we're all going to pay for it one way or another.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Lemme Tell You Why - [Life #7]

I'm in a radical move, so here we go.

I'm going to tell you, dear reader, why this age of civilization is messed up.

EVERYTHING has to be politically correct.
Every holiday card, every commercial, every product. We can't have an ounce of "personnally, I think it should be this way" or "I'd like to be proud of my religion" or even "I'd like to be proud of my sexuality." We all have to be completely, "happily" run as sheep and told that if you're not fair to EVERYONE, then you're absolutely wrong.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no racist, at all but I just don't think every commercial on television has to inculd ever ethinic race, be it asian, black or white.

Quite frankly, the line is just too thin, and both sides are just too small.
The second we step out of that line, everyone freaks out! We're too sensitive as a race. We take things too far for reasons that are far too small.
"Oh no! They said Merry Christmas on television! Sue the bastards!"
"Oh noez! They drank alcohol on air! They MUST BE encouraging drinking in children!"
Because that's all we do nowadays. Protect ourselves from pain. It's as if pain is the new cancer. I mean, the less amount of pain you have, the better off your life is, right?
Not at all.

Maybe I forgot to mention.
Be resistant! You've gotta, for once in your life, be tolerant of some things that just aren't 100% RIGHT. Pain is good, because pain lessens pain, in the long run. We have some crazy notion that if we 100% avoid pain, then we'll never have a problem in society. That, as a whole, society will be perfect! No wars, no genocides, no problem. If we just AVOID pain of any sort, then civilization will reach a new level of peace.

... That's the problem, right there! We're all scared of pain because we don't know how to take it any more. We don't know that if we just accept some things for what they are, and not blow them out of proportion for being poltically incorrect and completely racist, then THAT'S when we'll get somewhere.
THAT'S why our age is screwed up.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Zombie Day is NOW. [Life - #5]

So after seeing Zombieland, I realized something:
Fuck 2012. Fuck the end of the world.

I WANT A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

Because, god damnit, if the world's gonna end, might as well make it like Darwin's dream. Stupidest, slowest, weakest, least adaptible people die first - quickest, smartest, most adaptible people continue on in life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sure if I would survive Z-Day. Everyone thinks they would - I doubt I would make it too far. I mean, for crying out loud, I'm in Windsor Ontario, Canada. I'm in one of the biggest shithole cities on the face of the planet. We've got 200'000 people here, 150'000 of which are retarded. I dunno which category I fall under (but seeing as how I'm actually writing a blog, I'm probably in the retarded section.)

After seeing the movie though, and reviewing my multiple zombie-based movies, I figured I'd make a survival guide for the 7 people who pay attention to my little piece of shit on the internet.
Here we go. The top ways to survive Z-Day. Yes. This is what my friday morning at 1am consists of.

#1: Cardio. [Taken from movie]. Let's face it, the longer you can run, the larger your chances of survival. Bye, fatties.

#2: Always make sure they're dead. Aka: Double tap. Bullets are cheap, and your life is priceless. Take your time.

#3. I don't care if you don't need to reload a sword. Get a gun. Save the crowbars, baseball bats and axes for despiration. If you're gonna die, go down shooting.

#4. Zombies need a head - and so do you. It doesn't hurt to take a bit of target practice on a zombie now, does it?

#5. Paint a big sign on the roof of your makeshift shelter, indicating that there are survivors inside. This allow airplanes and helicopters overhead to see you, and point and laugh at you when they fly away, leaving you to die. Do it for the lulz.

#6. Get petrol. Lots and lots and lots and lots of petrol. If you have a hummer, expect to be pumping that bitch full of gas every half hour.

#7. Always check the back seat. You don't want any zombie hitch hikers, do you?

#8. Don't be an hero, or a hero. Don't be stupid and try to desperatly look cool as the hero. You won't look cool with your jugular in a zombie's mouth.

#9. Your education means nothing. Your social status means nothing. You are a survivor. Don't think that because you were spoonfed at Berkley, you should be leader of a survivor group.

#10. Protect your team doctor, use your telemarketer as bait.

#11. There are no names in the Zombie Apocalypse.

#12. You can fly a plane? Great. Do you see any runways with planes full of fuel? I didn't think so. Put your RELEVANT skills to use, like carpentry.

#13. There is no safe, only safer. Don't stay in one place for too long.

#14. Enjoy the little things. Zombieland is no place for luxuries. If you find a cookie, enjoy that damn cookie.

#15. Don't travel after dark. Don't make a noise after dark. If you do, you won't live after dark.

#16. Heroes die and cowards live. It doesn't matter how hot that chick is - if she's fucked, she's fucked and you live. Deal with moral issues later.

#17. There are no ethics after Z-Day, nor are there politics. Judge whether you're better off raiding or befriending before you do anything.

I'm gonna finish this when I have the patience.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

C-C-C-COOOMBO BREAKER! [Politics - #6]

Oh, Free Health Care.
How you make me laugh.

Right, so I'm sorry to the... 5 followers I surprisingly have - I've been lazy, and this post is really late on the uptake, but it's the closest thing I have to inspiration.

Back onto business!
Business being Obama's failed healthcare reformation. And by failed, I mean epic. An epic loss for a 900 billion dollar FREE healthcare reformation. Do you see the irony in that? A healthcare system that would take 10 years and $900 billion, not to mention an increase in taxes.

You see, I'm Canadian. I get free health care. I know about how ridiculous our taxes are. I know about our health care system from firsthand experience. Quite frankly, it sucks, but it's all we've got as Canadians to be truly different about. It's one of the big things that makes Canada, Canada. Free health care for all! But free isn't free. Free, ironically, is quite expensive. Free is 14% on the dollar. Free is millions of dollars every day for being put on a 3 hour waiting list to even SEE a doctor for "free."
Maybe I forgot to mention.

But anyway, back to Obama.

He publically said he was disappointed in the American's overall decision - that he wasn't happy with the turn out. AW. PUMPKIN! Poor Obama! His shitty idea got denied! Don't get me wrong - "free" healthcare is cool and all, but our southern neighbors have got it better off in many, many respects. Hell, here's another thing for Michael Moore to bitch about! I might talk about his new movie in a future blog, not too sure if it'll be any good though (the blog, I mean). You see, here's that thing that I mentioned before: "Where to draw the line." Healthcare is a perfect example. Obama's going WAAAAAAY too far with things. Arguably, I haven't seen much of a change in American politics since Obama's reign of whatever the hell. Also arguably, Obama seems to be the biggest political placebo on the face of the planet, but maybe that's just me.

Obama, start small.
Start with ACTUALLY free things.
Don't start making false promises and getting America worse than where it's already at.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Scribbles in the Sand [Life - #4]

Today, my [few] readers, I ask you a question. An important question. A question no school or book or singular person has an answer for. I do. You do. Everyone does, but at the same time, no one does.
How far is too far?
Think about it for a second. Let it sink in. And right now, what's your answer? How far is too far?
Like, really, where is that magical line in the sand? That one, defining moment or decision or action that tells all "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, DAMNIT." 
The sad truth is there is none. There is no specific line saying where the good/bad, right/wrong sides are. This question has no answer because the answer changes for everyone. That, really, really scares me. The fact that there's a question none of humanity, no life on earth, has the answer to. 
It's wrong.
It's wrong that some people never understand that there are even two sides to it all. It's wrong that, for some people, the one side is the only side they've been on. 
Look at this war, this War on Terror. Look at how humanity has driven itself down to the dumps, this slum of a recession. Look, reader, how all of the human race, the most advanced we've ever encountered, has turned against itself, all because we can't tell how far too far is. 

Wars, genocides, pain, destruction - all of those attributed to going too far, pushing things until they break.
And what happens when they break? A lot of the time, they can't be repaired, mainly because we never make an effort to repair them. We accept them as we accept WalMart has lower prices. I'm not peccimistic, I'm telling it as it is. I'm realistic. But before you judge me, don't think I'm saying this is irrepairable damage. Nothing is irrepairable. Nothing can't be fixed. Humanity needs to push a new topic, repairing the damage we caused ourselves. It'd be hard. It'd be close to impossible. It might even cause more problems, but in the end?
It'll be fixed. This race might even be able to know where that magical line is.